"What, really?" Saitama asked, his jaw dropping to the floor. "But I have the flyer right here!" Saitama waved the paper at the cashier.
"Yes, but that only applies to one pound of bananas, not the ten you have." The cashier eyed the bulging bag filled to the rim with bananas.
"What type of business is this? It says on the flier, 'Buy one get one free'!"
"Yes. Buy one, get one free."
"So you're telling me I have to put away half of my bananas?"
Saitama's cyborg apprentice, Genos, stepped in front of the cashier. "Don't worry, Master. I will get you the bananas for half off."
Right at that moment an explosion ripped through the market. A thick cloud of dust erupted and hurled shredded bits of concrete at break-neck speeds. Cries of fear pierced through the air before being abruptly silenced. The explosion threw everyone away like a lost toy. Genos and the cashier slammed into the wall and crashed to the ground -- they didn't move. But not Saitama, he remained standing as bits of ash and embers dropped to the ground.
Saitama slowly turned around and stared straight into the thick, dark mist. A pulsating figure permeated it with a bright, electric-blue light.
Saitama stepped forward confidently, but before he could react, the figure punched into him like a rocket -- they were so fast it had looked like they had teleported. Their hit was so powerful that it sent Saitama flying backward through wall after wall after wall. Then, finally, Saitama came to a rolling stop on the ground.
He stood up and dusted off his bright-yellow suit. "Aww man. I got dust where the sun don't shine."
The figure floated through the repeated holes Saitama had left in the walls -- each one shaped distinctly like a bald man.
The figure was thickly muscled, and in an orange suit, his hair was bright blue and his entire body shined with energy. "Huh. You're still alive? Guess you're more powerful than I thought."
"Who are you?"
The figure snickered. "You'll find out soon enough."
Saitama squinted his eyes at the man. "Wait. Are you a monster? 'Cause you don't look like one."
"A monster? No I'm not a --"
"Oh, I know you! You're Blast, the number-one hero, right?" Saitama interrupted as his face lit up with a smile.
"What? No! How do you not know me? I'm Goku!"
Saitama shrugged. "You looked like him. Anyway, I was just shopping, and you're obviously not a monster, so I'll be on my way. Have a nice day."
Goku stared blankly at Saitama as he started to wander back toward the shop. Then he shook his head and shot toward Saitama, snapping the sound barrier and leaving a thin layer of ultra-heated air in his wake.
Saitama reacted faster than Goku expected -- far faster. Saitama dodged, and Goku couldn't stop fast enough to avoid crashing into a set of apartment buildings with an explosion like a nuclear bomb.
Saitama stared at Goku with wide eyes, his hands shaking with fear. He let out a moan of horror. "My apartment! No one destroys my apartment, not even you, Blast!"
Saitama rocketed straight at Goku, moving so fast that he left a sonic boom that leveled every building in a 500 meter radius, so fast that reality itself started to warp.
Goku barely saw Saitama as he bulleted toward him. But he heard him. He heard the earth-bending, mind-numbing, bone-chilling voice that screamed, "SERIOUS SERIES: SERIOUS PUNCH."
And it was the last he ever heard.
