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In night's darkness, they sat on an outcropping of rocks in a sprawling grassland. The air was crisp and fresh. Above, the sky was a vast canvas of inky blackness. The gentle rustle of the wind through the grass. The rock was cold beneath Avso. Avso’s head was searing in pain. They had stopped to sit here because of it.
Uk was silent, but he kept glancing at Avso.
“Avso ...” Uk said quietly.
“Yeah?”
“I’m sorry ... I’m really sorry ...”
“You’re fine. It doesn’t hurt much at all.” Avso lied.
“That’s good ... Still, I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have used all my Otu in the fight.”
“If you hadn’t used it, I would have been dead. You did what was best.”
Uk nodded.
“Uk,” Avso said,” What’s with your ... situation?”
Uk tensed and looked out into the night. “I don’t know ... I just ... I guess it all started when I was younger.” Uk trailed off.
“How so?”
“Well, when I was younger, I lived with my family. I was always loved and treated well. I had a good life. One day, two of my siblings were playing with a rock. They tried to see how hard they could throw it with their Otu—they could throw it pretty fast.
“It sounds really stupid, but I decided to walk where they were throwing—just as a dumb joke—I don’t know. Well, Inuv, my brother, decided it would be funny to throw the rock anyway. He intended to miss. But it didn’t. He hit right on target, straight in my head.”
Avso didn’t know what to say.
“I recovered quickly, but I was never the same. I didn’t feel like myself. I was more energetic and erratic. I couldn’t even sit still alone—I was twitchy, and my hands wouldn’t stop trembling. I still don’t know why, but I just began absolutely hating my family. I still do. I left them soon after.
“I was homeless for a while. Then, I became a warrior. Ever since I hit my head, I’ve had these bursts of ... fevered, uncontrollable insanity. I’m always using my Otu to stop these from happening. That’s why if my Otu runs out, I go crazy ...”
It was silent for a bit afterward.
“So, yeah, I’m insane.” Uk laughed a bit. “I wish I wasn’t this way. I really do. I wish I were sane and cool-headed. I wish I were like I was before I got hit in my head.
“There’s no worse feeling than knowing that at any moment you could kill someone you love, that at any moment you could start hating someone you love, to know that you aren’t even safe in your own body. I hate it.”
“I think you’re doing really well, Uk,” Kraz said. “I’ve known about your affliction, and you’re controlling it far better than I could imagine.”
Uk laughed a bit. “Well, thanks. I’m not sure if that’s true, but ... Thanks.”
It was silent more after that. “Well, now you guys know everything about me. Anyone else want to share?” He smiled.
“Sure,” Kraz said.
“Oh, you don’t have to,” Uk said. “I was joking.”
“No, I want to. I think it’s good for us. We’ll work better together if we know each other better.”
“Ok ... Well, go ahead.”
“Well,” Kraz said, “I grew up as a harvester in Avmed before the Vievtu warriors took it. My mom taught me ethics and reading, while my father taught me how to work. My father was the most devout Murok-worshipper I’ve ever known. When Vievtu raided the city, he was among the first to run out and attack—he didn’t even have Otu. He was killed immediately.
“Before my father died, a disease swept through Avmed. It killed all of our cattle besides a few. I got infected. Only the Murkali healers could save me. My parents gathered all their friends and influence and had me sent to Murkali. It took a lot to heal me, and it left my legs scarred ever since.” He lifted his robes to reveal night-black legs. They looked charred—blackened and withered up. Avso was surprised Kraz could even walk.
“While I was being healed, Elder Tutu became interested in me and asked me to become one of his disciples.
“I said no. I had to go back to my family and help with harvesting. But Elder Tutu convinced me, and I stayed in Murkali and trained under him for a few years. I was his best disciple. Elder Tutu died, and Ohvocdu took me in. This was at the same time that Emperor Amud was being taught. He was immensely powerful even back then.
“I will not lie to you all. When the Emperor dies, I intend to take the throne. I know I can rule honorably. Elder Tutu trained me for it, and I have studied it ever since. I know I can do it better than the Emperor.”
Avso wanted to protest and say that his father would be Emperor. But he didn’t. Kraz was a worthy man. He was among the most deserving people he knew to be on the throne.
“I think you’d make a good emperor,” Uk said.
“I appreciate it,” Kraz said.
“No, really, you’d be great.”
“Thanks.”
It was silent again. “Skamtos, would you like to share?” Kraz said.
“If I must,” Skamtos said. “I also lived in Avmed when I was younger. I never knew Kraz. I was too focused on other things to have friends.
“My father was ... a horrible man. The things he did to me ... He was the scum of the earth. I’ve never wanted to kill someone more than him—not even the Emperor.
“So that’s what I did." Skamtos stared at the ground, his eyes haunted. "I killed him. I snuck into his room at night and stabbed him through the neck. My mother and I moved to Murkali after that. I joined as a warrior. I trained as much as possible—every day for hours on end. I was obsessed with a single goal—I still am.
“I will destroy all evil. I don’t care how it happens. This is Murok’s world; there should be no evil in it. That’s why Murok put me here—to remove evil.”
(maybe have this ^ be shown to avso at some point earlier. for example, hes drunk and harasses avso)
“Well, that’s fun,” Uk said.
“You wanted me to share,” Skamtos said.
“Please, keep going,” Kraz said.
Skatmos shifted. He hesitated. “The biggest problem for me is … My drinking.”
“I know it’s a problem, but I don’t care to fix it. Whenever I tried to stop drinking, my life would become only worse.
“I know it’s not good for me … I almost died in the Riverside Ambush because I was drunk the entire time. I was useless. Half of my squad died because I was unable to protect them …”
“Are you afraid of failure?” Kraz asked.
“Yes …”
“Well, I don’t think you’ve failed. You always get back on your feet. You always stand back up. Everyone fails, but not everyone has your determination to do better.”
“But I’m not determined to be better—at least not with my drinking. It’s something I can’t shake. With Otu, I can do my best. I’m determined to become the best, but ... even that isn’t working.”
He took in a deep breath. “My vision is fading. The vision specialty I’ve spent so long forging is fading away. I can’t see anywhere as well as I used to be able to. I used to be able to see things miles away, like they were inches from my face. I could see and interpret every detail on the battlefield simultaneously. Emperor Veus wanted to make me the grand general of the armies because of it.
“I think it’s because of my drinking. Every time I wake up after drinking I find my vision blurrier than before. And yet I don’t care to stop. You can’t say I’m determined now, can you?”
"We all have our weak points. You will surpass your weakness, trust me."
Skamtos looked uncomfortable. “You go now,” Skamtos said to Avso.
Avso felt nervousness build up in his chest. He pushed it down. This was important.
“I want to be someone powerful and respected. Or, I wanted to—I still want to. I don’t know. I did it for my father. I did everything for my father. But lately, I’ve been wondering why. My father’s always hated me because I’m illegitimate. He always said he would have killed me had I not been blessed. After a while, I got used to comments like that.”
“What about your blessing?” Kraz said.
Avso shrugged. “I’m glad I have it—it’s what kept my father from killing me. But it means that I’ve never really … known anyone. People only see me as my blessing—as Murok’s will. But I’m more than that. But people never see it.”
“I see it,” Kraz said. “Your persistence is incredible. You never give up. It’s inspiring to see.”
“Thanks.” Avso’s heart lifted a bit. “But—I don’t know—I feel Murok was wrong to choose me. People always expect me to have all this wisdom and know everything, but I don’t. I’m no more wise than the next person.”
“Murok chose you for a reason. While you may not see it, it is there. Trust yourself; in time, your gift will show itself.”
Avso nodded. There was silence.
“Well,” Uk said with a smile, “now that we all know each other’s deepest, darkest secrets, we're ready to kill the Emperor."
"We still have to go and train after this."
Uk groaned and fell back in his seat. "Are you kidding me?"
Kraz chuckled.
Avso looked between them all—Uk, Kraz, and Skamtos. He felt like he finally knew who they were. Even if they lost, he was proud to be part of this team.
