the way i write these is generally i focus intensely on a specific emotionally intense feeling or situation, and just write words that feel good and fit with that emotion. and then i stitch them together and edit them a lot into somethign that fits the story of what i want.
for me - dec 19 2025
i do this to impress you
not because you impress me
i do this to imprison you
not because i want to be free
i do this because my soul starves
with shaking fingers
to weave back together the flesh
to feel strength again in my hands
you are dust floating in the wind
attracted to my draft
pulled into my loving arms
that gently strangle you
i don't do this
for you
i do this
for me
the inside with no outside - dec 18 2025
i want to bleed myself dry
to let the water in my veins seep out and pool around my toes
to holler at my bones for not supporting their own weight
my soul moans as the light blinds me
god lives around me but never within
i greed for what is within you to be within me
my soul bleeds to void
as my body falls into beautiful red and red and red
as the sky lowers itself to halt my rise
i plead with the darkest and weakest to take my place
to carry on their backs the weight of utopia
to carry me to my purpose so that i may die living
--
this poem is about:
the internal battle of wanting to live a life maximizing my own joy vs a life maximizing the joy of others/utilitarian ethics
decaying into love - dec 16 2025
limpness within my thoughts
a man whom i thought dead
awakens in rage
invisible within your grasp
the blade digs further into my leg
and i hold my breath
hoping my heart will cease
hoping i will free myself
i never wanted you
i just wanted
to burn myself onto your chest
to tear away the flesh of your neck
to leave you bloody and torn to shreds
weakly i stagger and stand before you
i saw off my hands and drop them by your feet
you look me in the eyes as if i am everything
and leave without a word
my hands rot
as i wait for you to return
for you to see my mind
to see my soul
to see me
--
this poem is about:
about wanting for them to fall for you, but not for you to fall for them. to feel the pride of successful romance without the attachment needed. but then falling for them while they do not fall for you.
sand - jun 30 2025
this is what i call love, you know. it is a simple thing. a nice thing. a beautiful thing.
i wish there was something more to it.
but alas there is not. so i am content to lie down as the world washes past me and i end up buried deeper and deeper in the sand until i cannot breathe.
grand stretch of death - dec 23 2024
how lovely the sight
of the grand stretch of death
that inherits the space
where my chest once was
gaping and bleeding
i carry to the shore
the red bloody pulp
once in my chest
now gone
i hurl it into the ocean
goodbye. goodbye.
you don't know the
pain
of saying
goodbye
without having the chance to
hate
those who wronged you
you are left in love
without your blood
without your chest
without your righteousness
you are left to die
without a reason
without a care
for the wrongs that plagued you
wisdom - mar 9 2024
Does the wise man hear his words?
Or do they blow past in the wind
Or is there something special about the words?
Are words wind?
The wind blows quietly --
north to south --
south to north.
All around.
It will never cease --
always there,
even if you never feel it.
I sit in my attic,
writing these words,
thinking myself a wise man.
I am a liar.
I am not wise.
I am simply the wind.
waning thought - mar 9 2024
you are never to know again
the words that long
to stay around
for a while,
fighting,
failing.
fart god - ?
(this was a rather offensive joke poem i wrote and sent to my brother Jude)
Jude is a fart monster
stink rips from his butthole
like knives that slash your nostrils
it makes me wonder ...
is it a purposeful sabotage?
or an act of God?
God towers high in the heavens
casting love and prosperity where light lands
it's unfortunate that light never lands
on our planet Earth
a girl, her name is Meera
she was always the happy one
the one who laughed at everything
always smiling, always playing
now her body floats in the flooded street
limp, eyes open
she believed in Allah
torture her in hell, God says
but worst of all
Jude's farts still poison my air
I bear through, for the hope
that one day I will fart on God
desert - mar 3 2024
my love is a desert
my mouth is parched, dry as gravel
and my heart
stuck in the choking grasp of desire
for the ocean blue lake called love
i imagine myself drinking water
but mirages plague my life
hours i toil away, staring at the sand
throwing it around
and imagining a spray of ocean mist
i imagine the desert an ocean
but the more time i spend
tooling and splashing
the more cracks in the veil i see
what i imagined an ocean
is a hot beaming desert
that sucks the life out of me
